It’s not what it seems.  I see stories all the time that inspire me to post an entry here. Despite my blog silence here for months, I am constantly moved by things that remind me  that we’re in a world in flux, and that great things are happening.

So…

Have you heard about the homeless man in Beijing who has been seized by popular culture there as a fashion icon?  If you haven’t, then read it here.

Brother Sharp in Beijing

I think the Independent article does a very good job of describing the unlikely fever behind a random photo taken of a vagrant on the street of Beijing.  Basically, this fellow has been recast without the effort of any brand or ad agency. And although he may know about it by now, he wouldn’t have at the inception of this meme.

You gotta admit it – for someone who lives on the street, the guy looks pretty good.  But I extract another message from this phenomenon…

As social media plays an ever-increasing role in determining what we pay attention to, big media and well-financed agencies are steadily being forced aside as arbiters in our consumption of images and ideas.

I’m not one of those that presume “Madison Avenue” is inherently evil.  But I do believe that it is often commissioned by corrupt companies or political groups with innoble intent.  In some cases, consumers have paid a hefty toll – not just in buying poorly-designed or useless goods, but also in believing things that are intrinsically harmful.

In the case of Brother Sharp here, the outcome is innocuous enough.  It may even be beneficial: people are driven to think about the plight of the homeless more than they would normally.  I tend to think that there is more behind it than on top of it:  Power to the People!

Let’s hope the trend continues.

Ah, my first romance novel. I was 14 years old, reading my very first sex scene in the back of my parent’s station wagon heading towards our family summer vacation. My face was eight shades of scarlet and I kept looking over my book at my brothers, sister, father and step-mom with shifty eyes certain they knew what I was reading. I remember holding my breath for entire sex passages and reading the “good stuff” over and over again.

Like many women, Harlequin romances were my introductory sex education manuals. In the year 2005, studies have taken this concept a step further to say women who often or always read romance novels are less likely to divorce. Ladies,  here is a great reason to actively read smut, and often.

Apparently, Harlequin romance novels sell 160 million copies per year with 53% of all mass-market paperback books sold being Romances. In fact, romance novels earn more money in the USA yearly than their national pastime sport of baseball.

I have a love/ hate relationship with romance novels. So here is the good, the bad and the ugly on this genre of book.

The Good: Romance novels provide entertainment, pleasure, escapism, a chance to relax, and an opportunity for the reader to use their imagination. Romances are usually about healthy relationships thus offering readers optimism and hope for their own.

The heroines in romance novels can be excellent role models: they are strong, smart characters possessing tons of moxy, and refuse to be any man’s doormat. These women courageously tackle their problems head-on, are risk-takers and hold fast to their convictions.

I also am an advocate of romance novels because they get a woman’s sexual juices flowing. A friend gave me a great idea that I like to share with other women. She keeps an erotica book in her bathroom ensuite for those times when she comes home exhausted and still wants to have sex. When things start to get going in her bedroom, she excuses herself for a couple of pages of erotica and then she is ready to roll.

The Bad: I do not like romance novels because they set-up unrealistic expectations about how a woman should be in bed.

It would seem no matter what kind of day the heroine has had, if she is tired to the bone, filthy from fighting off pirates, she is still able to immediately shut off her brain and turn on her body. I have read many passages like, “After our three day adventure in the jungle, when I saw him my body started to smolder. Where he touched me left burning marks of desire waiting and wanting to be touched there some more.”

Most women I know, when they come home after a hard day of fighting pirates just want to take a nice hot bath and go to sleep. Also, I wonder how in lust couple this now blissful couple will be in three years when life, work and other commitments have taken over.

The Ugly: I cringe every single time I read a passage describing the heroine having a mind-blowing orgasm the instant her hero enters her. I have read countless passages describing sex as some kind of explosion, “As his rock hard mound of steel penetrated me, my body shuttered and spasmed and I lost control of myself in his manliness.”

If you have ever had sex, you will know this is pure fiction, a falsity on how the average woman’s biology works. Perhaps you are thinking this is no-brainer information. Sadly, in the top five questions I receive from women it would be: I can have a clitoral orgasm but I still cannot seem to have a vaginal orgasm. Can you please tell me how I can have vaginal orgasms too?

Let me set the record straight. Only a small percentage of the female population can have a vaginal orgasm; most women can only have a clitoral orgasm.

In an effort to understand why writers keep producing this mythical rubbish, I took my sex scene beef to the source. While at the 2004 Surrey Writer’s Conference, I asked a gaggle of romance chick-lit writers why they do not write more realistic sex scenes. They simply looked at me as if I had three heads. Their retort back was, “How could I possibly let my mother read a realistic sex scene after I have written it?”

I guess the conclusion is to indulge your interest in romance novels and absolutely enjoy every single minute. However, while reading, understand this book is a work of fiction – real life and sexual relationships usually do not work that way.

I don’t do a lot of free-association surfing.  But today I followed a link posted by one of my followees on Twitter.  What I landed on was breathtaking.

Today, I saw the future of film (or least what I long for it to be) – where a small creative time with a fantastic story can make something EPIC with a couple of cheap cameras.

Check this out:

If this production doesn’t affect you, check your pulse, ’cause you’re probably dead.

I think the video largely speaks for itself (in few words), but I have to add one thing: Sexy is about so much more than the pursuit of coitus. It’s about mystery, risk, and effort.

Dave

Some time back, I had the extreme pleasure of finding out about this program.  Very simply, it’s a campaign to give new choices to young women in underdeveloped nations.  Instead of being born and raised into a life of abject poverty and servitude, they are able to get an education and a shot at real independance.

It’s a spectacular example of vision, global consciousness, and impactful design.  Take a close look at the profiles of the four women on the website.  You’ll see hope, opportunity and revolution in the stories of these people. I deeply believe that even while powerful forces conspire to keep the existing control infrastructure in place, there is an unstoppable renaissance brewing. It’s opening more doors to those possessing both the ambition and the creativity to reinvent the future.  It’s giving audience to those with the courage to speak up, and with something of value to say.

While the lives addressed directly by Girl Effect are obviously lived far outside of our target market, there is no doubt that the revolution taking shape in many of these underdeveloped nations stands to affect all of us.  Tho profits are still a long way off for MIUZU, I look forward to the day when we can lend a financial hand to Girl Effect.

Dave

My goal is simple: to help couples in long term relationships have fun and meaningful sex on a consistent basis.

What a challenge!  The daily grind of life discourages many couples from having or keeping any momentum in their sex life.  Matters are worsened with major events, like having a baby or relocating for a new job.  It is incredibly easy for couples to create poor sex habits in a relatively short period of time.

Sexologist Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld researched what makes for happy, healthy sexual relations between long term couples. He found two keys:

1. Being good friends;
2. Consistently making an effort to have sex.

His claims may seem simplistic,  but my experience has convinced me he is absolutely correct.  It`s therefore these two things that I try to emphasize in all of my writing, speeches and media work.

How Do I see My Role?

As a sex educator, it is my job to get the correct information about sexuality out to the masses. There’s so much misinformation floating around about sexuality that the average person has a very skewed perspective on what healthy sexuality actually is.

My commitment is to educate people on what is true. This isn`t always easy when we all come from different backgrounds. I strongly believe meeting people where they are at in their sexual mindset—even if it goes completely against what I believe.

Shoving my opinion down someone’s throat is counterproductive and a waste of everyone’s time. When I’m able to empathize with a person’s viewpoint and help shift their perspective just a tiny bit, I feel I feel I`ve been successful.

What impact have I seen in the lives of women (and men) I’ve coached?

Most couples who come to see me feel their sexual differences are insurmountable; when in fact, with just a few mediated sessions sexual differences are often bridged. And, not surprisingly, it opens up a flood gate of sexual desire leading to much more fulfilling sex.   Unless the couple has past sexual dysfunctions or other challenges (i.e. rape), it’s relatively easy and quick to get their sex life back on track.

What is most satisfying for me is to see couples walking in with BIG smiles on their faces. They’ve reconnected not only in their sexual relationship but in their overall relationship as well.

Why does the MIUZU concept interest me?

MIUZU also believes that sex is so much more than the ten to fifteen minutes focused only on orgasm. They take a more broad look at sexuality, sensuality and the setting for intimacy.

MIUZU has exceptionally high standards and I feel very comfortable encouraging couples to consider MIUZU products.

Why do I think it’s important?

Plain and simple, it helps get you in the mood.

Surrounding yourself with sensual beauty can only help to enhance your sexual desire. MIUZUs line of products can help a couple create an aesthetically appealing, constant reminder that sexuality does play an important factor in their lives.   I love the idea of creating a space for sexual adventure…without the need to dismantle and hide it when friends and relatives drop in!

I`m very excited to work with MIUZU well into the future.  I hope you`ll love what we do…

Dr. Trina

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If you’d like to know a little bit more about me, and what’s behind my inspiration, I think this interview says it all:

We have a proposition for you.

We at MIUZU are all about envisioning an experience.  To that end, we are building a collection of contemporary objects that help make an experience richer.

And…

We want to have those products visualized within stunning environments so that users can see the products in full bloom.

This has traditionally been the purview of staging designers.  This requires the use of an existing space, the acquisition of all the pieces involved, and a laborious effort in decorating that space with said furniture plus all the accessories necessary to dress it up.  And then there’s lighting….

But it’s a new world!  DIGITAL frees the imagination from many burdens.

YOUR DESIGNS:

• show  a sensual space, befitting memorable erotic moments
• show off your imagination
• express a modern aesthetic
• incorporate at least one piece from the collection featured on our site (more the better!)

• explore the boundaries of fantasy, or
• stick to a very “buildable” space and decoration

YOUR IMAGES:

• edit in high rez (we may need high rez later)
• production images should be 465 pixels x 250 pixels to suit our site layout.

PROCESS:

• we will review your images as quickly as we can get to them
• we will give you feedback where appropriate
• if we choose to use it, we will embed your image in a Flash widget that will both enable click through from the image of a catalog product through to the corresponding detail page AND enable user clickthrough tracking so the buy can be traced to your image.
• we will post the Flash widget on our site
• if your image is the LAST image visit prior to a user’s purchase, you will get credit for helping initiate the sale
• that credit will come in the way of a 5% of product sale payout (not on the total sale, but on the individual piece clicked on)

NOTES:

This process is in its infancy. It’s therefore inefficient and klunky.  It’ll take some time to smooth it out.  If the program really works well for all of stakeholders, then we’ll automate it so that you can do it easily yourself.  Until then, please be patient as we work through it.

Remember that the person viewing your design needs to believe what they’re looking it.  That does not mean that it needs to be a real-world space.  But the geometry needs to work.

Avoid just trying to jam products into a view in order to give them exposure and try to sell them.  Be clear on the emotional effect you’re looking to create.  If you do something exciting, unusual, sexy, erotic, or just simply beautiful, the image has a better chance of having a desirable long term commercial effect.  Go for that “wow” response.

If you want to capture a moment of fantasy, do it WITHOUT exploiting nude bodies.  At this fragile early stage, we want to be known for creative innovation and the erotic appeal of abstract form.

Make it yours!  What would turn YOU on?  Be bold and creative.  Have fun!

Here are a couple of samples of work from European designer Marlena Witek:

Dave

ps. I just HAD to post this.  Marlena took a little extra time to spice things up (with humour):

I make it a regular practice to scan the latest design magazines.  One of my faves is Wallpaper. I was overjoyed to see the July issue – the front cover of which promised a smorgasbord of tantalizing visuals and compelling content – where sex meets design.

Finding this incredible work in such a mainstream magazine is incredibly inspiring.  The things that Saville and his project partner Nick Knight say about this concept perfectly capture an important precept behind MIUZU. In Nick Knight’s words:

“You’re not just producing objects to be a part of your sex life, you’re actually sexualizing the whole of your environment.”

Some of the furnishings portrayed are quite scandalous.  I’ve held for a long time that fetish is too marginal and intimidating (dare I say unappetizing?) for most people.  That said, in the context of impeccably good taste, it can take on a very different erotic flavour.  Needless to say, I welcome feedback from anyone who cares to comment!

Please do follow the link to SHOWstudio.  The content there is delicious, intelligent, and plentiful.  While you’re at it, look around youtube for Peter Saville interviews.  The guy is a genius, and is notable for some monumental work in graphic design for pop music.  It’s fair to say that most designers worth their weight have been influenced by him.

Bonus points to anyone who knows him and adds some thoughts at the end of this post.  I’ll end it for now, but will most likely come back later to augment this entry.

Sex is an awesome privilege.  A gift of being human. In it, we can escape the frenzy of the day, seek refuge from worries about duty, connect with ourselves and others, and experience moments that we remember for the rest of our lives.

But like in any grand human pursuit, we need the guidance of sages.  No matter how smart and sophisticated we may think ourselves.

At MIUZU, we love DESIGN.  But DESIGN is worthless if it doesn’t connect with people. So I’ve always known that we needed to offer more than just objects and environmental concepts.

A few months back, I had the pleasure of meeting a Canadian sexologist whose main thesis addresses the challenge of keeping eroticism alive and well in modern life.  And when I read her book, Til Sex Do Us Part, I was sold:  we need this gal to strengthen the foundation of our proposition.

After all, where there is sex, there are people, and where there are people, there are agenda.  Trina’s work is all about aligning agenda – so sex works for people.

To get started, Trina will be mining from her massive collection of writings to provide you with advice and insight that you will find compelling and useful.  In the future, expect all sorts of interesting new ideas to emerge from our collaboration.

Trina, we’re glad you’re here!

Dave

This post may seem slightly orthogonal to our theme, but it’s not. Sometimes lessons in business come from the most unexpected places.

Here is one such place:

You may wince,

you may laugh,

you may cry,

But you will react.

Weddings can be mundane, and they can sure be stuffy.  Can you imagine anything less appealing than tuning in to a stranger’s wedding video on youtube?

Yet, I watched the whole thing, and loved it.

It’s not the setting.  It’s not the people, given I don’t know them.  It’s sure not the dance technique.

It’s the fact that these people had the courage to abandon tradition, and even risk sacrilege, to make the experience memorable.  What’s more, if you look at the comment stream, you can see that some people are even offended at the idea of it. Hurray!

Rhetorical Question: how often do we blindly grasp tradition and follow the “expected path?” And what might be possible if we didn’t?

kanYe West’s blog was quite a find. It’s clear he fancies himself much more than a rapper.  His videos tell the same story.  Either he has great taste, or an awesome creative director.

Witness this gem, from a spanish design firm called Sytem Design Studio.  The iLamp.  I’ll forgive them the name choice, but consider the cleverness of the concept…

It’s another one of those “simple but brilliant” concepts that you can’t help but love.

LED technology is having a delightful impact on the freedom extended to designers.

Oh, the fun we can have!

Definitely check our kanYe’s blog – it may be a little light on the verbage, but the imagery’s great.

Dave